Episode 69: Where Goals and Motherhood Meet-Dealing with Discouragement in our Weeks
What You’ll Learn
Before the Mess (03:47)
In the Mess (15:05)
After the Mess (21:05)
Recap (23:08)
Wins (24:33)
Invitation (28:56)
Today we're going to embrace the suck.
Because motherhood is HARD.
There's no ifs, ands, or buts, about it.
We are too often battling spirits of overwhelm, despair, anxiety, and exhaustion along-side these beautiful joys that also accompany our days.
Discouragement can be seen and felt...everywhere right now.
And while we're not celebrating all of us feeling discouragement...it does mean we aren't alone.
Because when we're seeing all the highlights it's so easy to feel alone.
Like the problem is with YOU...
That your goals and dreams keep failing, because you are a failure....
Or because there's just not enough of you to do it all.
BUT
You aren't alone.
And We're all feeling it.
However...It's important that we aren't giving in to our own desolations, that we're battling them and winning...even just a little bit each day.
You heard from some mommas in our last podcast doing JUST THAT. And you'll get to hear some more at the end of this podcast.
btw...Keep the wins coming because your wins are worth celebrating! Just email or message them and we'll take care of the rest.
The real truth is that Motherhood IS hard...
The real beauty is that in the struggle...we are becoming.
And it means that…
We're in the game! We're doing the things!
These challenges we're coming up against are shaping us into the best version of ourselves...
We aren't staying steeped in our perceived failures or difficult struggles.
They still come to visit, but we're acknowledging them and sending them on their way.
Momma, the work you do every day, the goals you go after, they are changing lives (we're not even exaggerating here).
...but the reality is that in this everyday work, in these goals...we meet resistance.
It comes in all forms too...
Surprise visitors
Everyone getting a stomach bug
A child leaving your garage freezer open and all your stock defrosting and going bad
School started (or stopped)
Kids routines being thrown off
A hurricane or other natural disasters
The babysitter canceling last minute
And when these issues come up, we all need tools in place to overcome them.
In podcast 65 we talked about taking your goals and breaking them down into mini goals and action steps.
This week we're speaking directly to how these goals, mini goals, and actions steps meet resistance in the days, weeks, and months of our motherhoods and giving you tools to greet them where they are.
Today we're taking those same steps we talked about in episode #68 and we're looking at them from mountain top view, with a weekly perspective.
BEFORE THE MESS (03:47)
Be Kind to This Week's You
This means mentally walking through the week…win the week on paper first.
Fill in your Schedule
Mentally walk through your week
Daily/Habits (things that come up each day or you want to make a daily habit)
Rise by 6:30 am
Listen to Bible in a Year
Workout
Homeschool/School Drop off
Chores/School work
Dinner
Weekly/Routine (things that come up regularly each week)
Library Storytime
Park Playdate
Saturday Morning Coffee date
Church/Mass
Women's Faith Group
To Dos / Misc (things that need to be done)
Dentist appointment
Drop casserole & card to a friend
Pickup soccer shoes from the coach
Get a birthday party planned
1 on 1 with a child or your husband
YOUR GOALS!
Carry-over (things that you don't want to forget, but aren't red tags for this week)
Go to the post office
Fill out that paperwork and send it in
Return that thing...
Make chiro appt.
Call on the stove warranty
Win the Week on Paper First
Prioritize – this is where you’re being honest with yourself and using 3 highlighters (click here to get our favorites-this is an affiliate link) marking things as important (red tag, yellow tag, green tag).
People or goals will die it this isn't completed
Things you absolutely need to get to
Appointments
Necessary Obligations
Feeding your people
Grocery shopping
Household tasks
Finances
Extracurricular – sports, music, etc.
Church events
School
Maintenance – broken freezer
Action Steps for your Goals
Budgeting better
Tracking expenses this week
Present to my family
Start a family movie night this week
People or goals will suffer if this isn't completed
Things you NEED to do, but could also wait if a natural disaster hits (like a diaper blowout)
Scheduling future events
Completing emails/paperwork
Laundry / Household chores that aren't an immediate need
Household maintenance/fixes
People or goals will not be harmed is this isn't completed (but MAN would it be nice)
Organizing or Decluttering
Household projects/upgrades
Making Annual Appointments or vet appointments
Returns
Mailing that package out
Click here to get the highlighters we recommend (this is an affiliate link).
Fill in your Schedule
Take everything from your red-tag/important highlighted items and add them to your schedule.
Next, where there is room physically, but also within your capacity...add in your yellow tag items.
Finally choose the green tag items you have the space and capacity to include as well and any green tag items that don't fit, add them to your carry-over list.
IN THE MESS (15:05)
Reset and Reassess
Acknowledge how the days are going
Pause
Reassess
where you are
What are you priorities
what you can't change
What you CAN change
What is your next step
Be Persistent (move forward guilt & shame free...for YOU & your kids)
Acknowledge your Week
How's it going? How are YOU? Mentally, physically, emotionally?
Take a Pause
The week is not lost
If you are feeling reactive, discouraged, or overwhelmed...try
Meditating / Praying
Affirmations
I was born to do this, this is not unrecoverable
I am where I need to be
Breathing
Release your expectations
Go for a walk
5 senses (yourself what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel)
Get yourself a hot beverage or a snack
Run through some gratitudes
Reassess
Where am I in the week: Thursday – it may sound silly, but it’s grounding
What else needs to be done: Check-in with your weekly planning list.
What I can't change: we missed the appointment, didn't accomplish what you wanted to, kids got sick/etc.
What can I change: my priorities for the days remaining, my perspective, my attitude moving forward, my appointments/obligations.
What is my next step: to list your new priorities on your calendar/schedule…how many spoons do you have left?
Be Persistent (Keep going!)
Don't let the day after perfect break you
Move on from this point guilt and shame free.
Come from a place of learning and growing
AFTER THE MESS (21:05)
The Lesson (knowledge isn't power until you use it – Jim Kwik)
Reflect on your week
Ask the good questions
Did I over-plan?
Did I under-plan (who underplans?!)
Did I consider my capacity?
Did I include my goals and give those steps the importance they deserved?
Find the lessons
Our motherhood is happening FOR us not TO us.
Allowing space for reflection and honest answers can have huge impacts on how we grow and how the following week goes...even if it's still just as chaotic and it's just US that change.
THESE ARE LIFE NOTES!
RECAP (23:08)
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.
You aren't alone!
These are the tactical tools to help you deal with resistance, set-backs, discouragement, and challenges in your week...
Before the Mess:
Be kind to this week's you
Mentally walk through the week
Win the week on paper first
Fill in your schedule
In the Mess:
Reset & Reassess
Acknowledge your days
Pause
Reassess
Be Persistent (move forward guilt & shame free...for YOU & your kids)
After the Mess:
The Lesson
Reflect on your week
Ask good questions
Find the lessons (in your answers)
Remember that knowledge isn't power until you use it.
WINS (24:33)
To our mommas who sent in your wins, you've inspired and encouraged moms all over the world (really! Even in Italy!) so thank you so much for sharing them with all of us.
If you're new to mom-wins...let's go over what a mom-win actually is:
I woke up before my kids and had time to drink half my cup of coffee before they woke up
I turned down a job offer after doing some really good heart work and feel so good about my decision
I went grocery shopping and stayed in budget
I washed AND dried my laundry today (folding will be my next win)
So now let's hear some wins from mommas in our community...
INVITATION (28:56)
If you haven't heard about it yet, we created The Deliberate Start Guide and it's a resource made specifically for moms. It's a life and goal planning guide that capitalizes on the power of reflection, the excitement of new beginnings, and strategic and well planned goals that will help you achieve them even within the chaos of motherhood (and more importantly within YOUR capacity in this season).
We want to give you a sneak peak and help you get a jump start on this guide, FOR FREE. Just send us the words sneak peek in our IG message or via email at Brittany@thedeliberateday.org
