Episode 76: Teamwork Makes the Dream Work-Supporting Your Kids’ Goals
What You’ll Learn
The Benefits of Goals for Kids (01:36)
Where to Begin (02:00)
Once they Choose their Goal (03:13)
Kid Wins (24:20)
Q & A (28:17)
Recap (37:32)
Invitation (38:04)
We've talked about our goals, we've talked about your spouse's goals...now it's time we talk about our kids' goals.
If you're already a goal-getter or your husband is, it's likely your kids have already been bit by the bug and their enthusiasm for goals is already high... if so, these ideas should inspire you to encourage them even further!
But especially if you aren't, if you're still a skeptic of jumping in and supporting your kid's lemonade stand, or their desire to sell rocks at the end of the driveway....this episode is for you.
So the question here is: why should we support our kids' goals?!
You might not be dying to help your kid make 50 cupcakes for a school bazaar, but let me tell you....God gives us COUNTLESS opportunities to grow our children in the safety of our greenhouse and strengthen them so they are well prepared for the world when it comes. Using their goals as a foundation for growth is just such an opportunity.
The Benefits of Goals for Kids (01:36)
When our kids reach for their goals it:
Gives a sense of purpose
Improves self-confidence and builds self-esteem
Teaches financial responsibility and basic accounting
Hones decision making skills
Teaches independence
Lays the foundation for overcoming and persevering
It teaches planning skills
Really it's just darn good practice for adulting
Where to Begin (02:00)
Introduce the idea that kids can have goals too (because again...most of us were never formally taught we could have goals, or how to go after them)
Big Life Journal
Kid-sized heroes (Saint Stories)
Podcasts with kids doing big things or even small things
Brainstorm with them ( you might find they bite off more than they AND YOU can chew. So you may want to be intentional in this step)
Help them discover and decide what's within their wheelhouse (careful not to impart your own goals for them here)
Look at kid biz's
Dream about places/things they want to do
Make a bucket list
Once they Choose their Goal (03:13)
Share Interest
Break it down into manageable bite size pieces and make a plan
Continue conversations with them week after week
Ask Good, Genuine questions / get curious
LISTEN TO THEM
Don't love them out of their goals
Easy to love our kids out of SO MANY THINGS
Let the world teach the lessons
Create Space
Physically
In the calendar -- don't put off their goals
set up time for them to work with or without you
Choose actual date for that 5k run/camp
Running to the store to help get supplies
Make space within your home…click HERE for the frame Brittany mentioned in the Podcast!
Financially
Find ways to help them earn money
Pay regular allowance, pay only for chores done, pay only for extra odd jobs
invest *a portion* in their dreams
Onion action – peeling back layers of benefits
Be Resourceful
Be prepared to help if or when asked
Connections
Apprenticeships
Information / Send links
Scholarships
Online Classes
Neighborhood Jobs
Household Chores/babysitting
Hold Boundaries
Your capacity & theirs (especially within age reason)
This might mean honing their goal or planning even small steps
Financial boundaries (don't let it harm your family or your future)
Child fundraising
Saying not right now
Protect your family and yourself from the BIG dreams of one kid taking over
There is a natural ebb and flow...but this shouldn't be a permanent thing
Protect boundaries to support their time to work on their big ideas
Respect their boundaries – aka...don't take over their goal
Getting them paid
Encourage them
Words
Your presence/a smile
A note
A text
A treat while they're working
Recalling wins/successes
Build up their origin story
personal history
Family history
Celebrate with them – THIS one is HUGE
Little wins
Big wins
Monetary
Non-monetary wins
Kid Wins (24:20)
And speaking of celebrating...we're doing a cute spin on our regular mom wins and sharing some cool kid-wins today!
Q&A(28:17)
What if I think my kid’s goal is dumb?
Ask good questions
Give them space to think on it
Hone it (refine or perfect (something) over a period of time.)
Help it Develop
What if I think it’s unrealistic or too expensive?
Hold firm boundaries (can't absorb... carry, don't have the time)
Ask good questions
Get creative & stay curious
Watch for opportunities
Help them find ways/break down the expense
Sometimes you have to downsize a goal
What if my child’s goal requires more from me than I have the capacity to give?
Be honest...it would not be honoring our family if I gave all my capacity to you here.
Ask your spouse
Invite them to look for support in trusted adults/programs
Invite them to reach out to friends
Help them come to terms with the fact that it isn't in the cards this season (what a good life lesson for a son or a daughter to protect THEIR capacity when the time comes)
How do I make connections?
Be awkwardly friendly
Reach out to your local departments (library, city, schools)
Make connections with fellow moms
Make online connections (carefully!)
Are apprenticeships even a thing anymore?
YES! Have you ever heard of a technical school?
There are opportunities for them everywhere – plumber, vet, orthodontist, wood workers, hobbyists
Skilled people are typically more than willing to be watched and learned from
How do I find neighborhood jobs?
Flyers, Neighborhood FB pages/Chats, Door to door
Ideas:
Monkey Rollers
Yard work (pulling weeds, raking)
Cleaning
Watching/walking pets
Tutoring
Walk kids to and from the bus stop
Mothers helper
RECAP(37:32)
Introduce the idea that kids can have goals too!
Brainstorm with them
Share interest
Don't love them out of their goals
Create Space
Physically
Financially
Be Resourceful
Hold Boundaries
Encourage them
Celebrate with them – THIS one is HUGE
*SIDE NOTE*
Look for opportunities to hire kids
Invitation (38:04)
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You are doing beautiful work momma! Thanks for spending this time with us today.
