Episode 41: Planning to Fail-Mindset
What You’ll Learn
A Word on Failure (00:40)
What is mindset and why does it matter? (01:25)
Your self-talk (03:00)
Your meal planning mindset (06:00)
Recap (08:45)
Invitation (09:25)
You’re going to fail! Momma, it’s a necessary part of learning. In today’s episode, the fifth of a five part series, we talk about how your meal planning mindset AND we give ideas for how to overcome those “failures”! When you’re done listening, come follow Brittany on Instagram @thedeliberateday and DM her the word “bonus” to get the Mini Meal Planning Kit!
A Word on Failure (00:40)
Today we’ll be talking about failure and your failure mindset.
Jon Acuff says, “If you’re going to risk and maybe fail, fail at something that matters. Fail gloriously. So that even in failure, lives change.”
When we’re willing to take risks, whether in meal planning or in life, we’re not only giving ourselves a chance to grow, but we’re giving our children the opportunity to witness the beauty of growth.
So here are the areas where even the best laid meal plans can fall apart. . .
Planning
Shopping
Making the Meals
Being Derailed
Mindset
Let’s get into the area with the most potential to influence success or failure in meal planning. . .
It’s mindset!
What is Mindset and Why Does it Matter? (01:25)
Mindset is the set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself.
It matters because it’s those beliefs that play a pivotal role not only in what you want, but also whether you can achieve it, according to Sanford psychologist Carol Dweck.
There are two types of mindsets that Dweck came up with. . .there’s a fixed mindset that says “If I don’t try, I won’t fail,” or a growth mindset, “I only fail when I stop trying.”
With a growth mindset, there are two halves to failure. Knowing that we’re going to fail, but also having the belief that we’re also going to learn and become better because of it.
The good news? You CAN rewire your brain! It’s called neuroplasticity, and it’s all the rage right now! LOTS of money and time are being put into it right now! Also. . .it’s FREE! You can practice it in your own home AND you can teach a growth mindset to your kids!
Your Self-talk (03:00)
Jim Kwik says, “Your brain is a supercomputer and your self-talk is the program it will run.”
We begin with self-talk because your repetitive thoughts and self-talk are what form your beliefs and your mindset.
I’ve always been a very growth mindset person, and occasionally I’ll hear my kids or husband say they “Can’t” or they’re “Bad” at something and it hurts my heart!
Recently, I was listening to Jenna Kutcher, and she said (paraphrased) if you can look at your babies and be sad when they talk about themselves in that way, how much worse do you think God feels when we talk about ourselves like that?!
Mommas! He CREATED us!
So the next time you fail at anything, instead of thinking or even saying outloud. . .
“I’m bad at this.”
“I never do anything right.”
“I am just not enough.”
Try instead. . .
“I’m just not good at this YET.”
“I guess it just didn’t work this time.”
“I need to learn why, apparently I don’t have all the skills I need YET.”
These are ALL true, and positive self-talk MUST be! Because our brain is trained to find the holes, our brain is trained to say, “No, that’s not true.”
So, when you say to yourself, “I’m AMAZING at EVERYTHING,” your brain is going to say, “Mmm. . .let me take you through the examples of why you’re not good at everything. . .you know, why you’re NOT amazing at everything.”
But if you say, “I try hard at everything I do,” your brain can’t take that away from you. So you DO need to be honest with your self-talk, you need to be speaking true statements to yourself, but that doesn’t mean these truths need to be negative.
Framing our failures in this way, with positive, truthful self-talk leaves room for growth and life is ALL about growth.
If this is a topic that you’re really interested in, google it! Learn about it, teach it to your kids! Check for links below!
For now, let’s lay the building blocks for success by watching how we speak and think to ourselves. If you’re like us, you’re constantly reminding your kids to speak kindly to one another, so consider this a reminder to speak kindly to yourself!
Your Meal Planning Mindset (06:00)
Here’s what we want you to do. . .change your mindset for the better!
The long-term fix is to reshape the way you view failure, and adapt to challenges on the fly WITH a GROWTH mindset. Know that it’s ok to be upset when things go wrong, but you don’t get to live there! Because no one thinks clearly in a highly emotional state! When you’re angry, or frustrated, or exasperated, you know—be ok that this is a journey and learn to coach yourself gently along the way.
The key term here is “gently”! You can’t just give up when you fail the first time when you scream at your kid or yourself because you’re frustrated because something doesn’t work because we ALL do it! Every single one of us!
When your best efforts and planning don’t pan out, instead of getting frustrated and giving up, or using that as an excuse to quit, view it as a lesson and an opportunity to improve!
When you weren’t successful in getting the ingredients you needed, you can view it as a major setback OR you can use it as an opportunity to use some of your creativity. OR you can google and learn more options that will make your future meal planning a bit easier!
Maybe you only cooked two out of the five meals you planned this week. . .you could focus on just the three meals you didn’t get to, but we want you to celebrate the two meals you DID make and aim higher for next week!
When life throws you a curve-ball, this can be one of the most difficult times to exercise your growth mindset muscle, but if you can train yourself to see what is going right instead of everything that’s going wrong, it will be absolutely life-changing in a crisis, and I can tell you this from experience.
Let’s talk mid-week, mid-sink fixes.
Ok, I know you might want to throw the entire plan away because it didn’t work one night. Take a pause-break, try again tomorrow, and pivot where you need to.
Remember the recipe is not lost because you’re missing an ingredient. You get to choose how you adapt and pivot to those challenges, and making choices like that will strengthen your ability to keep improving your meal planning and your cooking skills. You may even accidentally find a family favorite!
Own the responsibility of making the meals, and don’t badger yourself when you don’t follow through. Remember, positive self-talk, and then let it fuel your decision to do better tomorrow.
We all need to know that there’ll be times when life gives us a little more than we can handle. We need to learn to hold on to our hope and lean on God and our friends when this happens.
Recap (08:45)
Your mindset is the set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself.
There are two types of mindset, fixed and growth.
A growth mindset sets you up to view failure differently, but it’s really a long-term game.
With a growth mindset, you’ll better accept that failure is necessary, but with the belief that you’ll learn and become better because of it.
You can reshape your mindset no matter your age, your upbringing, or your experiences, and it all begins with how you speak and think to yourself!
Invitation (09:25)
If you’re new to meal planning altogether, and if you’re a person who likes to have all the information right in front of you, with a beautiful workbook and resources that you can use again and again, we’d like to invite you to visit our website www.thedeliberateday.org where you’ll find out meal planning masterclass!
Additional Resources
Grit (by Angela Duckworth)
Mindset (by Carol Dweck)
Biglifejournal.com (for kids)