Episode 121: Be a Duplicatable Leader with Tessa from Build A Country Home
What You’ll Learn
Is it Possible to Have Peace AND Kids in the Home? (02:50)
Raising Spouses (08:55)
Three Strategies for Thriving During the Holidays (12:55)
Gratitude in Action (27:11)
The First Step (33:55)
How do you Approach the Day After Perfect? (47:06)
Rapid Fire Questions (49:51)
The Harried to Hopeful Holiday Summit (53:20)
More from Tessa (54:05)
The season of Advent is almost here…it is a time of waiting and expectation for Christ's birth. This should be a time of peace and togetherness in our homes, but in reality…
Sometimes it's just not.
Sometimes we overload our calendars, rush from thing to thing, and by the time Christmas arrives, we're exhausted, our kids have lost their minds, and our homes are a disaster.
Not this year, sweet mommas. Not. This. Year.
The Holiday Planner is in the shop!
Our favorite is the Family Feast Section. The first page is the Planning Checklist. It walks you through a timeline…helping you plan in small bites.
The creme-de-la-creme is the Holiday Baking and the Feast Planner. Everything you need is on one sheet.
Finally, the last page of the Family Feast section is the Life Notes page.
Today we have Tessa from Build a Country Home. She is a homeschooling mom of 6 and her family owns a dairy farm in southern Alberta. She is deeply connected with the unique struggles of life in regards to motherhood and has built a business by helping women create harmony, order, and cooperation within their home and family so that they have energy and the mental fortitude to do all the things that God has asked of them...especially during the holiday seasons!
Is It Possible to Have Kids AND Peace in the Home? (02:50)
With one or two kids, Tessa would have told you “no.” But now, with more kids and wisdom, she says, “absolutely!”
When Tessa was in business before children, she learned the value of being a “duplicatable leader.” But for some reason, she didn’t carry this knowledge over to her first years as a stay-at-home mom. It wasn’t until she had a serious back injury, and had no other choice, that she REALLY recognized the value of being ‘replaceable.’
Raising Spouses (08:55)
“But I’m the mom…it’s my job.” This is one of the biggest pushbacks Tessa gets from her clients.
Although our sons may not grow up to BE stay-at-home dads, it’s still important for them to understand the roles of each parent. Whether a parent works or stays at home, they ARE working ALL day.
Kids both want and need to contribute.
Three Strategies for Thriving During the Holidays (12:55)
It’s usually not the amount of tasks that are the problem, it’s usually that we don’t have the skill set to deal with the tasks in a manner that won’t lead to burnout.
List everything out! Break it down into the smallest bits possible (2-5 minute tasks).
Sit down with your family and show them the lists you made, and assign tasks. Kids do crave meaningful contribution.
Get to know your kids…where they’re at, and why they may be objecting (if they’re objecting). This will allow you to keep building up the relationship and work on character.
Gratitude (27:11)
Gratitude saved Tessa’s life. Someone told her to write down three things every day she was grateful for. This was a great starting point.
The next step is deciding what you’ll do with that gratitude. Gratitude is great, but it needs to be followed up with action. Instead of just writing your “thankful” list, begin speaking it, and use it to care for the things you’re grateful for.
You’ll never get anywhere from a place of hate. We show love to our family and God by caring for the gifts we’re given. What you focus on expands.
The First Step (33:55)
Recognize that there IS hope and healing…for everyone. God designed us to heal. Our brains are made to heal. It is always possible (and proven by scripture AND science) to be renewed and transformed.
Start with, “What if?”
What if there’s a solution to this problem?
What if this doesn’t have to be my relationship with my children?
What if I could have an ordered home, cooperative children, be able to run a business, or volunteer, have a great marriage…have it all?
What if…it could be better?
What would your “what if” scenario look like? Draw it out! Write it out? What would your life look like?
If you did have hope that there were solutions, what would that look like?
What if the mess and the life aren’t the problem, what if we just need to craft a system to deal with them.
How do you Approach the Day After Perfect? (47:06)
Failure is a part of life. You can have the best running home in the world, and then you’ll have a curveball, a new season, a health issue…this is the pattern of life.
Somedays you just need to ask yourself, “What is the one thing I can do today?”
Every day, somedays every minute, is a new start.
Rapid Fire Questions (49:51)
Tessa’s mom superpower is delegating appropriately.
If she could go back to one stage of motherhood and tell herself one thing, Tessa would go back to when she had her second child was a baby, she had a back injury and postpartum depression, and she would tell herself to just keep loving him.
Tessa’s friends and family would say she’s good at singing, making people feel comfortable in her home, being able to see the whole picture and breaking it down into manageable chunks, and making people feel better-giving them hope.
Tessa’s family is special because they truly enjoy working together.
She loves that her kids come together and decorate the tree during the holidays.
The Harried to Hopeful Holiday Summit (53:20)
Tessa is so excited to be teaching mothers how to teach their children how to do tasks properly (according to your definition). She has a very practical four-step process for teaching your kids to run your home! Use the code BUILDACOUNTRYHOME for 75% off the summit!
More from Tessa (54:05)
Tessa *just updated her signature course “From Stressed to Blessed: Designing a Home Management System that you Love.” Also, when you finish the course, you can join the membership community where you’ll have community and ongoing coaching from Tessa!
You can also find Tessa and Build A Country Home...
On Instagram
On her Website
Don’t forget sweet momma…you are doing beautiful work.
One of the BEST ways to practice compassion for yourself is to approach the Holidays well organized. The Deliberate Day Holiday Planner will help you do just that! You’ll write down what’s MOST important to you, be inspired by gift and celebration ideas, click-and-go resources, checklists, life-notes pages, and more!
