Episode 145: Raising Adults through Chores
What You’ll Learn
What if your home could (largely) run without you?
What if your children (both younger and older) knew how to pick up after themselves (and were part of the team that picked up after the family as a whole)?
What if the necessary tasks of running a household were completed quicker and there was more time for FUN for everyone in the family?
Regardless of how you feel about chores, there is an abundance of research out there proving they CAN be a positive thing (think LESS Cinderella and MORE Cheaper by the Dozen)…
There are a MILLION ways to implement a chore system, but it IS a system, which means Brittany has one and she's been improving it every month for a LONG time.
We're so happy to have our fellow momma of many and delightfully inquisitive friend Renee Amato with us to answer some common questions about setting up and running a chore system.
This Family Chores Breakdown is THE most comprehensive list of age-appropriate chores (from toddler to teen!) Plus, steps to get your family started today!
✨Beautiful Cover Page
✨Benefits of Chores
✨ Contents Breakdown
✨Getting Started
✨Personal Chore List
✨Age-Appropriate Chore (3 pages)
✨The Clipboard System
✨How to use your Clipboard Template
✨5 Editable Clipboard Template Options (for complete customization)
✨What to Expect (3 pages)
✨Considerations
✨Incentives & Rewards
✨Steps to Mastery
✨Resource Library
✨Thank You Page (with special customer discount)
This digital download includes an 18-page PDF guide, as well as our Clipboard template, which can be edited and customized in Canva.
Chores Defined (02:15)
How do you define a chore?
In Brittany’s house, there are individual chores and family chores. They work as a family unit (with an emphasis on serving).
Outside of the family work, there will be individual chores that are tailored to tasks the kids may avoid…for example, if a child never washes his/her clothing, laundry may show up as an individual chore.
A family chore would include cleaning family areas, dishes, bathrooms, the van, front & back yard, and laundry for the family.
Bedrooms have been handled in many different ways…there’s one room for the girls and one for the boys. Generally, the bedrooms are personal space (as much as possible), and the kids keep track of their own stuff in the way they want to.
Messier kids are allowed to be a little messy, and once a week Brittany encourages everyone to tidy up (so the cleaner personalities don’t have to live in chaos).
For Brittany, she allows for a bit of chaos in her room (she uses her clothes out of a clean basket), and her husband is the tidy one (he folds and puts away immediately). So she tries to allow her kids the same freedom (within reason).
Family Chores (06:30)
Brittany and her husband sit down and discuss which chores serve the family most (because there are SO many options). Then they ask if it needs to be daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly…
Then, they set up a chore chart for two months. This works for them because…
It gives kids an opportunity to live with their uncleanliness…this is a natural consequence.
It allows for clarity, and like Jon Acuff says, clarity is kindness for kids. They will learn the expectations for their chores.
Everything Brittany does in her family is to set the kids up for success in adulthood, and THIS is why they rotate chores. Everyone gets a taste of how to do each job, AND they have the opportunity to experience how they (and others) handle the work (or maybe *don’t handle the work) in different areas.
Chore Assignments (12:00)
Currently, chores are assigned in Brittany’s home. She’s tried ALL the things, like choosing, and that worked for one week. Then they tried chance…rolling the dice…which also didn’t last.
Now, Brittany and her husband sit down, and assign chores to children.
Standards (13:13)
Brittany really tries to give grace when kids don’t do a good job on a chore. In our minds, we think we need to tell kids something once, but that’s not reality. Also, there are many factors at play when a child doesn’t do a good job…
Instead, Brittany asks, is this a lack of skill or ability? Is there a lack of attention to detail? Or is it a lack of responsibility? She’ll bring the kids in, show them what they’ve done correctly, and then show them a few things to improve upon.
If chores are the MOST important thing to you, then make that a focus (that’s ok). If chores aren’t your number one priority, you just need a system that works for you, and you don’t have the capacity to check over everything all the time, then you may have to give lots of grace and just know it will take longer.
Incentives for Chores (16:15)
Over the years, this has looked different all the time in Brittany’s household. Currently, everyone works for the good of the family to serve one another. Children are expected to work together and help out.
That being said, they ALSO value financial education. If the kids are going to have a relationship with money, then they need an opportunity to earn money. Currently, children are paid for how they contribute to the family (older children are expected to contribute more and therefore make more money).
Brittany and her husband sat down with her older kids and they discussed responsibility and privileges (which always go together). This is also when they discussed NOT paying the children who are employed outside the home (because they are earning more and have many opportunities to learn and grow with their income).
For the younger children, they receive their age in pay, and divide it up…
10% to charity
20% to savings
70% to spending
The kids us charity for gifts, the homeless, church, however they choose to give. Savings are deposited in the bank, where the kids learn to speak with tellers and manage having an account at a bank. Using money this way helps to establish the link between effort and earning, and builds a relationship with money.
So many of us want to do these things, but a big hurdle is not having the cash on hand for payday. Brittany has solved this problem by keeping a home bank, which is simply a cash box like you’d see at a garage sale.
Because if you don’t have it on hand, you won’t pay your kids.
Here’s the thing, if you are expecting your kids to come through for YOU, you need to make sure to prioritize your end of the bargain and make sure you have cash on hand.
Ages & Stages (22:52)
Brittany learned years ago, from another mother of many to…
Ask the youngest capable child when you need something done.
In a big family, it’s easy to ask an older (competent) child to do things, which can put a lot on one or two children in a family.
Some chores that are incredibly important in a home (like the kitchen, the guest bathroom, or larger living areas) may be set aside for older children (to be rotated). In the Family Chores Breakdown, there are several lists—organized by age—of what children may be capable of, as well as an editable chore chart at the end.
It’s important to look at chores that are daily, weekly, and monthly. Involving kids in these different time frames will increase their knowledge of how a house is run (which will equip them as they grow up and move into their own homes).
In Brittany’s house, the main spaces tend to get messy quickly, so if kids help with these areas…life tends to run better.
Chore Swapping (30:00)
What if one of your children is an entrepreneur, and decides to pay siblings to complete their chores? This has happened in Brittany’s house, and it is fundamentally good! This is creative and translates very well to adulthood…BUT, if the job isn’t done correctly, it still falls on the child whose chore it was, to begin with. So, yes, some of Brittany’s kids hire subcontractors (as in…their siblings).
Payment for Chores (33:35)
There was a time when Brittany would pay children on a sliding scale for chores, but this required a lot of oversight and micromanaging on her part. But now, the kids get paid every other week, and unless there is some blatant disrespect or disregard for responsibility, they earn the full amount. This HAS brought up some good conversations and honest self-reflection in the home, and yet another opportunity to learn a foundational skill that will transfer to adulthood.
When are Chores Done? (36:00)
One of the biggest areas that needs attention in Britt’s house is the downstairs because EVERYTHING happens there…eating, playing, schooling…you name it! Initially, this area was broken up and assigned to different children for tidying, which worked ok, but this year—Brittany and her husband decided to focus on working together as a family.
Now, using dinner and family prayer as an anchor, everyone works together to get the downstairs ready for the next day.
For other chores, kids will be encouraged to check on their chores before taking their afternoon and evening free time. If there’s a bathroom to scour, if laundry needs to be done, if trash needs to be brought out, all these things will happen throughout the day before any free time.
Remember, the Family Chores Breakdown is in the shop!
Remember sweet mommas,
You are doing beautiful work!
