Episode 144: Celebrating the Everyday with Steffani Aquila
What You’ll Learn
Our guest today is all about elevating daily life with liturgical living practices in small manageable bites...and for our mommas of many...small and manageable is music to our ears!
She's a beautiful Catholic wife, educator, theologian, event planner, and trained ballet dancer. She specializes in the study and application of liturgical living, culture, tradition, & festivity.
After growing up in a family full of seasonal experiences, she married into a big Catholic family that was overflowing with liturgical tradition and fell in love with sharing it with others.
If the liturgy is for everyone, then a liturgical life is too.
So this begs the question...what ARE liturgical living practices? What does it look like to live a liturgical life?!
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Liturgical Living (01:45)
Liturgical living is recognizing that our lives are meant for celebration and praise of God, we were meant to be in that type of relationship with him. The way we do that is by going through the seasons…weeks, month, years…and marking time with special things that pull us out of the mundane and bring us into that life of celebrating and praising God.
Liturgical living is a lifestyle of living in connection with God that is celebratory, festive, and connected to eachother, and to creation and to God. It isn’t just a Catholic thing, it’s a HUMAN thing. It is human to celebrate, it’s woven into us to want to mark special occasions with community and with things that take us out of our ordinary…it’s for everybody.
Liturgical Living & Food (04:15)
Food is a natural entrance point into liturgical living. A shift in perception that needs to happen is the idea that liturgical living is an ‘ADDITION to’ but rather it’s an ‘integrating in’.
Eating is such a natural part of daily life, which makes it the perfect opportunity to integrate liturgical celebrations. Think about what feast days, celebrations, or name days are coming up, and consider how you might pull people into your kitchen to make a meal, a treat, and then eat and pray together.
When we look at these liturgical living practices as forming family culture around food—where we’re being physically and spiritually nourished—you’re accomplishing more than you think, and you’re leaving impressions on your children, your family, and your spouse.
What Liturgical Living Looks Like (08:08)
Celebrating a feast day can be as simple as making the dinner you would have made anyway, but then asking the day’s Saint to pray for you. Or saying a simple prayer, or remembering an important marker in the life of Christ…just bringing a sense of awareness to the day.
Name days in the Aquila house mean ice cream. Steffani’s name day is Saint Stephen, and her husband celebrates Saint Dominic, and it simply pulls them out of the regular routine.
For baptisms, you can put the taper in the middle of the table and share a story from baptism day. Perhaps the Priest did something memorable, or a beautiful gift was given. When we share these experiences, we become more connected to eachother, to God, and to holiness.
For our protestant friends, please know we’re not worshipping the Saints, we’re asking them to pray for us. As we honor the Saints and Mary, we’re honoring their sacrifices that always point back to Jesus.
When you live this way, with a focus on liturgical living, you’re creating the story of your family. Steffani didn’t grow up in a practicing Catholic family, but her parents did an excellent job of teaching her to live the seasons. The summer crawfish boil was a celebration where her family pulled people together…and while these weren’t tied to the liturgical calendar specifically, it still drew her back to God.
When she met her husband’s family, which was incredibly Catholic, Steffani saw how the seasons and liturgical life all fit together.
There's a Place for Everyone (14:33)
Celebrating isn’t just for children. It’s timeless, and it’s about building a lifestyle and culture that will endure the generations of your family.
When we branch out in these ways, to make celebrations not as age specific, the family can remember and pass on these practices whether or not children are involved.
Unrealistic Expectations for Mothers (17:00)
There are unrealistic expectations placed on mothers, that they’re the teachers of all things and it requires prep and perfection, and it’s just not true.
Living liturgically, celebrating these things, is more about your love for God, Mary, the Saints, and life, and less about you being a performer or a teacher. This is all an invitation into the story of your faith.
Steffani remembers her grandmother so fondly as a fervently Catholic hispanic woman who loved Mary, who wanted to serve her family, and wanted her family to love God, and she never coordinated an activity, taught a lesson, or pulled together the perfect craft. Her catechesis was subtle.
The more you cultivate your faith as a woman, the more you celebrate God as a woman, the more your children will look at that and see how you love the Lord. People are drawn to joy, and our children want to be part of our joy.
Final Questions (20:22)
When Steffani decided that her family was going to integrate liturgical living, she made a deliberate choice to let some things go. In the evening, her family says a rosary together, they offer up the good, pray for the things that hurt, offer up the intentions, and she gives her liturgical planner a look and works through her liturgical routine (which also includes family prayer).
The book that Steffani has shared with the most people is “In Tune with the World: A Theory of Festivity,” by Josef Pieper. His philosophy on culture and celebration really invigorated Steffani, because she loves the explanation and depth on why we should celebrate and what it does when we do.
The book that Steffani is reading is “Anxiety RX,” and something she recognized in liturgical living is how we can be our best selves when we heal. She’s taken time to learn about her own anxieties and how to cope with them, to integrate the holistic approach to who God meant her to be.
Taco Tuesday is Steffani’s dinner in a pinch (with her taco recipe and mango salsa). It’s easy and quick…she fries up some tortillas, makes some chicken, chops up some salsa and it’s a crowd pleaser.
Saint Catherine of Sienna is Steffani’s favorite Saint to celebrate (it’s her confirmation Saint). Saint Catherine wrote about how the sweetness of Jesus is likened to the boiling of oranges, so her husband makes her a delicious clementine cake (which makes Steffani think of her and all the things she did).
Something that makes Steffani’s family special is their love for life. We all need and deserve that, and it has enriched and given life to Steffani’s desire to live liturgically. There’s a fervor and an affirmation that life is good and worth living, and all that’s promised to us is right now. Steffani was gifted with a loud, joyful, and involved family on both sides.
More About Steffani (28:50)
Steffani Aquila is the founder of His Girl Sunday, a ministry and small business that welcomes individuals, families, and parishes into liturgical living that fosters interpersonal and story-centered Catholic heritage, identity, and tradition throughout the Church year.
She is the Director of Communications for the University of St. Thomas, Houston and she has a Master of Arts in Theological Studies. Steffani has 17 years experience working in Catholic institutions, is a national speaker, Catholic author, and runs an award winning Instagram account.
She is also a liturgical living contributor to the Sourcebook for Sundays, Seasons, and Weekdays. Steffani enjoys hosting feast day parties with her husband, reading theological books, and ballet dancing.
She has a beautiful Instagram.
You can find her on Facebook.
Steffani’s book will be out in October from Ave Maria Press, and it is all about how to build liturgical living, Catholic culture, and festivity in the home and in the parish.
Head to Steffani’s website and join her email list!
Remember sweet mommas,
You are doing beautiful work!
