Episode 143: I Never Wanted to Homeschool with Emily Brown
What You’ll Learn
We have the absolute blessing of chatting with a Catholic Homeschooling and Certified life coach (who ALSO has an excellent podcast named Happy, Holy Mama).
She's got 7 stellar kids (all homeschooled), she's a wife of 17 years, AND she's devoted her life to helping Catholic families fall in love with God through their relationships and homeschooling lifestyle.
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Emily Brown (00:45)
Emily has been married for 18 years now, and one thing she KNEW was that she did NOT want to homeschool….
She was the mom looking for a preschool for her 3 year-old after having 6 kids in 8 years. She needed the separation, between hormones, lack of sleep, morning sickness, and everything else, she needed a break.
So, their family tried public school, Catholic school, and finally—when there was something they wanted to change about everything, and nothing felt right—until homeschooling.
When baby number 7 came, it seemed like the time for homeschooling, so Emily quit her job and jumped right in!
I Just Don't Want Them to be Weird (04:30)
Emily and her husband began to learn more about education and the possibilities for homeschooling.
Her husband just didn’t want the kids to be weird, and in Emily’s words, “They’re already weird, because they’re authentically Catholic and living out their lifestyle and faith,” and that’s weird.
She’s been homeschooling for about 5.5 years now, and she is absolutely SOLD on homeschooling for HER family. Homeschooling is a calling, and not everyone is called to this life.
The Litany of Not Enough (07:07)
Not everyone is called to homeschool, but if you feel the call in your heart and it seems SO hard, it may be that you’re living out of right order.
What Emily says is that homeschooling is 80% mindset and 20% strategy. After working with hundreds of moms, she’s identified what she calls the “Litany of Not Enough.”
Moms feel like they’re not…
Smart enough.
Patient enough.
Calm enough.
Organized enough.
…
We have this scarcity mindset and it creates a lot of fear, and we’re trying to make decisions from this place of fear.
What Emily does in her coaching is help moms clean up the Litany of Not Enough, regulate the negative emotion in their bodies (because thoughts create feelings), and then help them make the best decisions for their families.
The bottom line is that the Lord made YOU the perfect mom for these kids, and he gave them YOU as their mother on purpose. There’s NO mistake in that.
Calm Down & Connect (11:30)
The world has plans and timing for our kids, but the Lord has you exactly where he wants you to be.
We have so many things we want to do, and all we really have to do is calm down and connect with the Lord.
When Emily begins working with a mom, the initial step is accepting that God’s will is absolutely perfect, there are NO mistakes. This means that everything that’s happened up until this point is for a reason, and He can create something good through it.
When we’re arguing with God and reality (by saying there isn’t enough of us to do what we’ve been called to do), we’re really trying to do God’s job.
When we can calm down our bodies and our mindsets, we can pause (even in the middle of a meltdown), connect with the Lord and focus on what’s within our control.
The Fountain (14:20)
Emily thinks about unifying our will with God’s as a three-tiered fountain.
The pipe that comes up the middle is our relationship with ourself and the Lord. The bowl at the top is our relationship with our husband, the middle is our kids, and the bottom is everything else (homeschooling, volunteering, etc.)
It’s important to maintain the pipe (our relationship with ourselves and the Lord) because it spills over into our other relationships. This allows us to put first things first, and it will naturally weed out the “extra” in the third (or bottom tier).
Mom's Office Hours (17:30)
Emily borrowed the idea of office hours from her husband, who is a retired professor. She sets aside time for the 1:1 or 1:Group teaching, and also for the other things you need to do (planning, the library, laundry…).
She plans her office hours at the beginning of the week, and it helps the kids know when they can come and ask questions. It protects her peace. Doing this will also help children learn delayed gratification (to wait), which is huge as an adult.
Another question Emily asks is, “What will you do while you wait?” This is great for kids, because it gives them some autonomy and agency over their time, and it’s great for moms because it releases us from another decision.
Our homes and our homeschools are the BEST place to encourage kids to try…and even fail. We are really working ourselves out of a job.
You Can Never be Behind in God's Will (29:00)
“Behind” (in homeschool) really isn’t a thing, in fact…
You can’t be behind in God’s will, you’re always exactly where you’re at.
When it comes to the daily, Emily loves the book Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie, and after reading it (thankfully only a month into her homeschooling journey), she simplified immediately. Then she took the idea of the Minimally Viable Day from Pam Barnhill, and some other great ideas from several homeschool gurus, and made them work in HER homeschool.
One beautiful thing about homeschooling is our ability as mothers and teachers to take good ideas, and make them fit our families.
For example, Brittany checks over the spiral notebooks in the evening (a good time for her). Emily, on the other hand, checks in with her kids in the morning (which she’s learned works better in her home).
Another strategy that Emily’s clients have used is a grading hour in the afternoon (at the end of the day). Everyone sits down together, looks over their work, and works through any mistakes (on their own, with mom, or with a sibling). This can be a wonderful way to round out the homeschool day, and keeps afterschool grading to a minimum for a parent-teacher.
Sacred S.P.A.C.E.S. (35:00)
There’s an acronym that Emily’s been using quite a bit lately, and she shared it with us…
S.P.A.C.E.S.
S-slow down, allow for the GAPS (Gratitude, Acceptance, being Present, and Surrender).
P-pause.
A-ask the Holy Spirit to step in.
C-connect and clarify to what the Lord is asking us to do, and what we want in this moment.
E-engage in behavior that sets the tone that we want to set in our home
S-surrender to the Savior-who is Jesus—NOT us.
Creating these sacred spaces will turn our home into a place where children will grow and thrive, and be educated and brought up for the kingdom.
Final Questions (38:30)
The book that Emily has shared with the most people is Uniformity with God’s Will by St. Alphonsus Liguori, and she’s currently re-reading Be Healed by Bob Schuchts. She also enjoys Awakening Wonder by Sally Clarkson, and Essentialism by Greg McKeown.
If Emily could go back to one time in her homeschool journey, she would go back to the months before she began (while she was furiously researching) and tell herself, “God has put this on YOUR heart, it’s ok that you don’t feel qualified…He will qualify you.”
A go-to back-up meal for Emily’s family used to be pancakes, but with five growing boys, and two girls, it’s now chicken and rice.
Emily’s thought work is the one thing that sets her up for success (which she usually does in the evening). She’ll ask the Lord, what went well, what didn’t go well, and what should I work on. Then, in the morning, asking the Lord, “What do you want me to know about today?” Planning the day, but also being willing to change plans five minutes later when something comes up.
The thing that makes Emily’s family special is the degree to which they live into the idea of “relationship before task”. The kids like each-other, and they get along *most of the time, and they talk to Emily and her husband about what’s on their hearts.
More About Emily (49:45)
Emily will be a Keynote Speaker at The Catholic Homeschool Conference June 7th and 8th, 2024.
To learn more about her, head to her website, you’ll also find a link to her free masterclass here.
If you're interested in learning more about her membership, you can find it here. This is specifically designed to help Catholic homeschoolers learn the skills to self-coach, improve relationships, be your child’s emotional coach, learn time stewardship, and it includes a whole course on Catholic homeschooling strategy. There’s also weekly coaching, as well as workshops each month, and it’s a lifetime access program.
Her brand new Homeschool Course is available now!
While you're checking out her offerings, don't forget about Emily's podcast!
Remember sweet mommas,
You are doing beautiful work!
