Episode 86: How to Cope When Leaning-in Isn't Working
What You’ll Learn
Seasons of Survival (00:52)
Mindset (02:10)
Ask for Help (06:50)
Recap (17:36)
Invitation (18:07)
We're going to ask again...How are you? Really? Momma?
Your answer here...is actually much more important for you to hear...than us.
We did some digging into what Survival mode really means in motherhood...and we came up with some surprising insights...
Seasons of Survival (00:52)
First of all...in our humble opinion, survival mode isn't just a mode, it's a season
This is good news, I promise, because if you're in a season of survival, like all seasons in motherhood...it won't last forever.
But here's the truth...sometimes leaning in to a season of survival isn't enough and we find ourselves spiraling, steeped in negativity, or just stressed out, sleep deprived, and irritable to the max...because that's just real motherhood sometimes.
Seasons of survival look like:
Lack of focus
Difficulty in remembering or recalling things
Daily Fatigue or exhaustion
Emotionally Reactive
Forgetting to care for or putting aside basic needs
Decision Fatigue
More impulsive
If any or frankly, all of those are ringing a bell with you, and you've done the work to simplify, create new expectations, create new soundtracks, and find YOUR people...but you're still struggling...we want to share some thoughts that really work when you're feel like you're drowning....and we know because we've been there!
Mindset (02:10)
Your Mindset
Because if you're waking up every morning feeding negative thoughts or mindsets your brain is going to spend the day looking for evidence to support them...and no surprise...it's going to find it. And that is what you will see and experience for the rest of the day.
Sometimes in motherhood...our thoughts are the ONLY thing we DO have control over
We're never going to come on and tell you that motherhood should be "easy"! That if you just have this system or that it's going to be a breeze...nothing in motherhood is "easy" but we CAN help you meet the "hard" in a good and healthy way.
Give yourself grace
Because we are 1 Person!
….how many kids are there? How many of me are there?…Our best is enough and what we don't have time for or didn't get to today is still enough.
Grounding Practices:
Self-care
What feeds/grounds you?
Stop and consider this...
Move your body in a way that feels good
Grounding techniques
Make a list! -- so you have options – decision fatigue is REAL
Shower – new person
Get in the sunshine
Go for a walk
Dance to music
Earbuds with good storybook
Plugging my ears and closing my eyes and breathing deep
What’s working against you?
Certain people
Stress eating
Mind melting with reels
FB
Running
Yelling
Having too much on the schedule
And finally...
Ask for Help (06:50)
Ask for help
Reach out...like for real
Everyone says "I don't even know what I'd ask for help with" or I don't know WHO to ask for help.
Asking for help is intimidating
Family
Friends
Church
The library
The interwebs
Here are some things you can ask for help with:
School pickup/drop-off
Trading homeschool subjects (art for science)
Household chores (husband or maid...just once a month for heavy stuff)
1–2 easy dinners a week
A nap with the kids 1x/week
Grocery shopping
2 hours/week
Mom's day out programs
Mother's helpers
We've given you so many ideas...now it's up to you to use them...
And if you aren't in a season of survival...make some notes, because when Shhh* goes sideways...you might just need those notes.
OR maybe this podcast was meant for you so you could minister to another mom drowning in survival mode.
Recap (17:36)
Survival mode isn't just a mode, it's a season
Seasons of survival, it means it won't last forever.
What IF a season of survival isn't a BAD thing...but just a different season?
Start with:
Your Mindset
Giving yourself grace
Choose grounding practices and DO them
Make a list and keep it visible because in the "mess"
Be aware of what is working against you?
And finally...
Ask for help
Invitation (18:07)
We're starting a new Podcast Series and we are SO excited about it. It's called "Just" A Mom...and that's because no mom is "just" a mom...We really believe that mother's hold INCREDIBLE wisdom and knowledge and we want to tap into it and share it! Because we ALL have amazing stories, triumphs, challenges, and beauty to share with the world! We want to share these lessons, stories, struggles, and wins from moms of all types.
So many of the mommas we've been blessed to meet feel like their ordinary lives aren't anything interesting to share, but....we're here to tell you, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Your story could be exactly what another mother needs right now. So, if you know a mother, or you have a story to share, please reach out to us on Instagram @thedeliberateday.
Remember…
Momma, you are doing beautiful work!
