Episode 50: Gratitude Practices…for When You Can’t Even Pee by Yourself - Writing & Visiting
What You’ll Learn
Improving Your Life in Hard Seasons (00:40)
Write to Someone (01:35)
Visit a Friend or Go on a Trip (10:20)
Recap (25:52)
Invitation (26:08)
This week we’re trying something new! This episode is part four of five ALL about gratitude (In a mom-friendly way). Today we’ll talk about writing to someone and visiting a friend (or going on a trip) (and how to fit these in as a mom). Make sure to come back for part five, when we’ll cover prayer (meditation) & mindset. Are you on our e-mail list yet? Each Monday we check in with our community of moms-and we want you there! Click here and we’ll send you the 2022 Deliberate Day Holiday Planner AND get you on the list!
Improving Your Life in Hard Seasons (00:40)
Motherhood is hard. There are seasons of loss, job or loved ones, seasons of transition, new babies, toddlers, teenagers, or toddlers AND teenagers. When we look at the advice from the “experts” it can be difficult to transfer it to the daily reality for a mom.
Our goal for this week is to take the common advice for increasing gratitude and adapt it to fit into a mom’s life. We’ll talk about. . .
Journaling
Exercise
Drinking More Water
Getting More Sleep
Volunteering
Savoring Your Experiences
Write to Someone
Make a Visit or Go On a Trip
Meditation & Prayer
Notice Your Complaints & Reshape Your Mindset
We’re taking all of these common suggestions, breaking them down, and saying, “Hold Up,” what is the REALITY of implementing these things in the real-ness of motherhood.
We’ve lived these seasons. . .we’re living these seasons, and trying to do these things in our lives, and we want to encourage YOU to do these things in a way that can actually work for moms.
Write to Someone (01:35)
Writing to someone makes their day, right? But, are we talking about, with stamps? An envelope? That you have to address?
Why is it SO hard to get to the post office? Ours even has a giant wall of greeting cards that call to children, and once they get taken out, you can NEVER find where it goes again. Then there’s the walk of shame to get back in line (if they let you in).
Does this practice actually do anything for you? Actually, yes.
Writing to someone can deepen our relationship SO much. It can foster incredible connections with people, and it increases joy!
Letter writing has become a lost art. We don’t write to each other anymore.
What is the solution. . .I know this is good for me, but if I have a ton of kids, how do I do it?!
Let it be easy! It doesn’t have to be a commitment! (Last year was a birthday card year for me, and I enjoyed it so much!).
Writing to someone doesn’t have to be on pen and paper! It can be as simple as a text, a voice note, or even a short video! Even a lunch box note! It CAN be a one time thing!
Revisiting Britt’s journal with her husband-it worked because it didn’t have to be a daily thing. They do it occasionally, whenever they feel the need.
My own husband would occasionally surprise me with post-it notes and it was so wonderful. So I decided that I would write him a post-it each morning, and after a while he had to come to be (with so much love and understanding), to let me know that my notes were getting a little strange. So it’s important to know yourself before you start something like this.
Send a text, a voice note, a thank-you for the grandparents, a thank-you for dad! You can do a $5 gift card to a stranger! You can give flowers to your favorite cashier! It can also be a handwritten note!
Something that Britt does is the Pink Salt Riot joybox. It’s $25 a quarter and the idea is that you’ll send at least 50% of what you get with other people. Britt keeps hers in a drawer and she uses the items from the box anytime she sends a card or a note. Click here if you’d like to check out Pink Salt Riot (these are NOT affiliate links-it’s just a great business we love to support!)
Visit a Friend or Go on a Trip (10:20)
The realistic mom-thought is “Have you gone anywhere with kids?” This is supposed to increase gratitude?
Or what if you’re thought is, “My husband would never do this,” or “My husband isn’t capable or well enough to do this,” or “I’m not well enough to do this.”
Does this change anything? Going, traveling, visiting someone else?
Heck yes it does! We underestimate the power of a simple change of scenery. It doesn’t have to be an out of state trip, it can just be a change of scenery.
If you homeschool like Britt and I, and you find yourself in a situation that is like a pressure cooker, a change of scenery can go a long way! Sometimes, we don’t even consider this!
If you have a frustrated child, something as little as drawing them away from their frustrations with a cookie and a glass of milk is enough to change the whole mood!
Britt has 9 people in 1,800 square feet, and it can turn into a pressure cooker pretty quickly. She and her husband found that getting out of the house, even for just one weekend a month, makes a HUGE difference!
Going even further, Britt and her family decided to take an epic adventure across the United States. They have always said they valued experiences over things, and so they decided to put their money where their mouths were.
It was amazing! The release from the daily obligations and stressors made the trip one of the most beautiful, memorable experiences Britt can remember in all of her motherhood. Coming back from the trip, even the big challenges felt different.
Also, traveling can help you focus on your family values and how you’re teaching them. We’re teaching kids how to become adults every day, so when you take these core values and put them in new scenery, it changes how they look and how they’re received. Respect, self-care, kindness towards others—when you go on a trip, these things all come up—but they come up in new ways. You STILL have to repeat yourself a million times, but when you’re out, it can be less nit-picky.
Going on little trips can also give your family shared experiences. Beautiful memories to talk about for years to come!
So, what can a trip do?
it trains our minds to focus on the good
it increases creativity
it boosts productivity
it’s good for your heart health
it alleviates stress (kind-of)
it can lower the risk of depression (because it gives you something to look forward to)
How can a mom incorporate this stuff in daily life?
You don’t have to go on a three or four week trip to experience these benefits. Redefine what a “trip” is based on your season. Go on a walk, to the park, down the street, to the end of the driveway. Just change the scenery! Visit a neighbor, drop a note, some cookies, or flowers!
Anything can be an adventure! One summer, Brittany planned a summer of adventure, where we got a pass to our local science museum and each week we did something in town, we went swimming, and then we did something out of town. We visited museums, parks, shopping places, rock climbing, the battleship, so many places! If you have a bunch of kids-call ahead and get a discount!
Try park-hopping (going from park to park). Visit grandma! Go on a coffee date! (Britt and I do this!). Try going on a mom retreat—once a month go to lunch, Reconciliation, and Mass with a friend! Go on a couple’s trip!
A friend of ours took a trip to Atlanta for the weekend with her kids and her friend! Taking your kids on a trip by yourself can boost your confidence! You are SO capable! I took all five of my kids to Maryland!
Recap (25:52)
Make someone’s day, even in a small way!
Go on a little adventure! A trip! Start small!
Invitation (26:08)
Today, we want you to DSD (do something different). Take a walk around the block, visit a neighbor, get lunch out and stop at a park you always pass by, or get a few $5 gift cards from Starbucks and get yourself (and someone else) a coffee.
DSD today, and if you do, message us because we would LOVE to hear about it!
Come back tomorrow for day 5 of our series, we’ll wrap up this whole series with meditation & prayer, noticing your complaints & reshaping your mindset. These are big things for mommas-so come back tomorrow and hear some of the practical solutions we want to share with you!
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