Episode 134:Don’t be a Bully…to Yourself with Catherine DiNuzzo
What You’ll Learn
Sweet mommas, We ARE our sisters keepers.
WE (yes…you and I in all our mess and imperfect-ness) are the first line of defense for our friends when it comes to a culture of care for women.
On this VERY podcast, we have shared stories of several women who had reached their lowest lows, and it wasn't a mental health professional who suddenly appeared and popped up to tell them they had a problem (although they WERE a big part of the solution)…it was a close friend.
Today we have a beautiful wife and mom to four amazing children who ALSO happens to be the licensed professional counselor behind Sacred Heart Mental Wellness.
Catherine DiNuzzo utilizes traditional cognitive-behavioral counseling practices all through a Catholic lens, and she is here today to talk with us today about anxiety and how our mental health can show up differently in our cycles.
Homeschool Plan Like a Mother works for the brand new AND seasoned homeschool mommas. It takes a different approach to planning your homeschool journey by walking you through your ‘why’ and helping you fine-tune what you want to see in your coming homeschool year.
It also offers some unique pages that…
✨ Help you get organized
✨ Set realistic expectations
✨ Plan for adventures
✨ Set big goals
✨ Invite you to become a student of your child
✨ Encourage you to recognize learning in unlikely places
✨ Help you cultivate the homeschool you really want
Catherine DiNuzzo (00:00)
Catherine DiNuzzo is the beautiful momma behind Sacred Heart Mental Wellness, and she’s most passionate about making mental health less scary.
What is Anxiety (02:40)
In order to understand anxiety, first we need to understand this amazing brain God gave us. Catherine started in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because the more she learned about the brain, the more she believed that there was a powerful, loving God that makes this all work. So she describes anxiety as when your body senses a danger, but there is no physical danger present. Your heart starts beating fast, your stomach is sour, you’re breathing quickly…you feel like an agitated tiger in a cage. When there’s REAL danger present (like a bear), this is an appropriate response, but when you’re going to have dinner with your mother-in-law, this is NOT so helpful. So…when our body is reacting like it’s in danger for normal challenges (like meeting a teacher), these are the early symptoms of anxiety.
Where moms get stuck in particular, is that the fears feel REAL in the moment. A normal morning, trying to get out the door for work with uncooperative kids can easily turn into a mental scenario where you don’t get to work, you get fired, there’s no food, the family becomes homeless, and everyone starves and dies. That is what your body is PERCEIVING, but our job is to slow it down and really ask…is this real? Will this actually happen?
Talking TO Your Body (06:04)
One of the first (and understandably the hardest) ways to initiate a conversation with yourself that Catherine DiNuzzo suggests is to simply say, “Thank you God for my anxiety.” The moment you begin to feel these physical symptoms, you stop and say this TO yourself. This can help us to realize that we’re not bad…this response isn’t bad, it’s just to the wrong stimulus. This gets us off the hamster wheel. The “Hamster wheel” is when you’re anxious that you’re anxious. Once you’re off the hamster wheel, there are many tactics you can use.
Anxiety & Your Cycle (09:00)
The first thing to remember when you consider your cycle is how beautifully made our bodies are, and how God makes our mind preparing us always for a possible baby. In phase 1, we tend to be pretty low, all of our hormones have just dropped and everything is more noticeable. Catherine urges her clients to give themselves grace, realize there are things that wouldn’t bother you in the middle of your cycle that WILL bother you at this point.
During the second phase, things tend to get a bit easier.
In the third phase, women generally feel the *most normal.
When we are proactive with our mental health, we won’t be surprised by these changes throughout the month.
Don't be a Bully...to Yourself (12:20)
By “Give yourself grace” Catherine means, don’t be a bully…to yourself (get her sticker reminder). Gentleness with ourselves is REALLY hard to practice. Catherine suggests asking yourself, “What would you tell a friend?” Then…that is how you should speak to yourself.
Step back and imagine, do a little imagery, of your friend coming to you with the exact same situation, what you would tell her will come pretty quickly!
A Proactive Approach to Anxiety (16:40)
A proactive approach to mental health means learning and working on your mental health BEFORE there’s a crisis. Working on your mental wellness is a lot like working on your physical wellness, learning different strategies that can help you to be more resilient when the hard times come. This is why Catherine shares these resources on her website.
With her clients, Catherine talks about having a toolbag (much like a contractor). In her book, The Catholic Guide Through Anxiety, she created different signs like the Nike logo…signs that are universally understood by her readers (and she HIGHLY encourages reading her book with a friend, or friend group). There are even parents reading her book with their children!
In her book, Catherine shares 17 triggers and tools related to anxiety, all beginning with the biology…the physical response.
One trigger + tool she shared with us was…
Trigger…when your heart rate is increasing, and you feel like you’re in danger, you’re stressed out, and agitated and you need to ground yourself. Most anxiety is in the future or in the past, it’s NOT in the present.
Tool…Apple Pie. If you think of an apple pie you can taste it, you can smell it, and it will remind you to think about your senses in the present moment. What can you hear, what do you smell, etc.
This is something you can share with your friends…with your children…and it can help us to step off the hamster wheel and begin to live in the moment.
Helping Fellow Mothers (26:52)
Catherine has spoken all around the world, and in her experience, it’s something that EVERYONE experiences. Her first suggestion is to share resources (like this podcast), and bring this conversation out into the open!
Some warning signs that you might notice in friends are…
Hearing that they’re on the hamster wheel.
Seeing them pulling away.
Noticing they’re never saying a word.
When you’re carrying a friend’s emotional heaviness instead of walking with them through it.
There IS a time when, as friends, we can encourage seeking out a professional counselor in love.
Rapid Fire Questions (31:53)
Catherine’s mom superpower is mind-reading (but as a counselor she has learned over the years to read body language).
Catherine had four kids age 5 and under, she would tell herself that, “God is God, and they’ll be ok.”
Four things that she’s good at are listening, loving, cooking Italian food, and being present in her friendships.
Something that makes the DiNuzzo family special is their bond that’s grown since her husband has become disabled from a grave case of covid.
More About Catherine DiNuzzo (34:30)
Catherine DiNuzzo, MA is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice, and specializes in helping clients to overcome anxiety and depression, as well as other concerns. She is the heart and soul of Sacred Heart Mental Wellness, providing mental health information, resources, assessments, and videos for the Catholic who wants to live a mentally fit lifestyle. She and her husband, live in Kansas with their four amazing children.
Right now, Catherine has a simple book written FOR her clients and people who love her client, called The Catholic Guide Through Anxiety (this is a quick read). She has also has a series of videos explaining mental wellness. Finally, she’s working to get out to speaking events this year…in her experience—this is the best way to serve the greatest amount of people—and she would love to speak at YOUR event (simply reach out for more info).
And if you’d like more content like this, if you’d like to share content you’d like to see, or tell us what you think of the podcast, we’d LOVE to hear from you in the reviews!
And as always, sweet momma, never forget…
You are doing beautiful work!
