Episode 60: The School of Life-Pivotal Moments
What You’ll Learn
The School of Life (00:50)
Britt’s Before & After Moment (03:40)
My Before & After Moment (23:44)
Invitation (36:45)
We’re coming to you today to share a few stories of pivotal moments in our lives. If you’re listening, and you haven’t experienced these things, we pray that your heart is touched and it will equip you to help another momma who may be experiencing these things. When you’re done listening, click here and we’ll send you the 2022 Deliberate Day Holiday Planner AND get you on the list!
The School of Life (00:50)
In life, there seems to be events that have a very distinct before and after. Such as before kids and after kids.
Britt’s Before & After Moment (03:40)
When Britt became pregnant with baby number 6, she was excited, but also very aware of what another baby would have required. So when Eleanor came by storm, Britt wasn’t ready for everything that came along with the birth.
When Britt began laboring, Brandon was out of town, and it was too early, so she tried to do all the normal things (rest, drink water, etc.). The labor continued to get more intense, and the thought was that it was too early, so although her body was throwing up red flags all over, Britt tried to go to sleep and very early in the morning, she called the hospital and made the decision to go in.
Not only was Brittany in labor, the baby was in distress. A big fear was a c-section, and that’s exactly what happened. By the time she got all checked in, things were moving so quickly that she not only had to have a c-section, but an emergency c-section (and her husband couldn’t be there).
Britt’s regular doctor wasn’t in town, and the doc on call was wonderful, but it was scary to be doing this with a new doc. He tried to give Britt a choice about the c-section, but as she progressed, it became clear that there was no choice, and the baby needed out.
They opened Britt up and when the baby was born, she waited to hear the cry, and it got very quiet (everyone was looking where the doctor was and there was no sound). No congratulations, noting. Brittany asked repeatedly, why isn’t she crying, and the anesthesiologist looked at Britt and said, it’s going to be ok momma, and he held her hand and repeated it.
It was really, really scary. It was a pivotal moment because…not knowing if your child is going to be ok is a very powerful experience in a lot of ways, and there are powerful things at work even beyond and underneath that.
Brittany had a placenta abruption and Eleanor was drowning in the womb. So they worked on Eleanor and got her breathing, and they whisked her off. This was the first time Britt hadn’t gotten to hold her baby, and by the time Brittany got to Eleanor, she was hooked up to all kinds of things. Because of the c-section, Britt needed help to even come to the baby.
Then, they took Eleanor to the NICU (about an hour away), so after being released from the hospital (the day after a c-section), Britt climbed a flight-and-a-half of stairs to get packed so she could go see her baby. They drove to the hospital and were at the NICU with Eleaner for almost a month (she didn’t get to see her other children for weeks and weeeks.
By the time Britt came home, her other kiddos were all having their own challenges. It was a whirlwind, and everything had changed, and there was no undoing, but only moving forward.
There are a LOT of moms that have had this experience. In the moment, it’s hard to see the good, but God really does bring about the good. There are aspects that feel terrible and awful, but it is so powerful because the way you can reach another momma’s heart and understand their needs so much better is because you have experienced these things.
There were many people who came through for Britt’s family during this time. One momma in particular had gone through her own NICU experience and was able to think of things that noone else did.
One thing she did was text Britt every day without asking for a response. She offered to bring Britt to lunch (even though she really didn’t want to leave the baby).
Other people brought meals and helped with her family. This alleviated some of the guilt for Britt because she felt like she couldn’t leave her baby but also wanted to care for her other children.
It’s important to note that any 24 hour period in the NICU is an emotional rollercoaster, there are so many ups and downs (crisis to crisis) every day.
The c-section recovery alone is a struggle, it took Britt an hour to walk from her front door to her bedroom.
Then, she brought home a brand new baby with NO experience. The NICU is an alarming space to be in. There are other parents there, other babies not doing well, some babies with no parents there, and the entire experience is overwhelming.
My Before & After Moment (23:44)
My abrupt before and after moment probably wasn’t when Kev was actually injured, but when he got home from Afghanistan. Instead of a happy homecoming, I was pulled aside at the airport by his leadership and told to bring him to the doctor the next day.
We didn’t fully understand what traumatic brain injury was at the time. Getting blown up was something we joked about.
They kept telling us that he would get back to normal in a couple months, and we thought we would have him back.
Well, we saw doctor after doctor and they continued to put him on medication after medication, and we literally lost ‘him’ until 2018.
There were days where I had to just pretend that he was still deployed, and we pressed on.
It’s these days and times where your prayers might have to change. Some days, you might have to pray that God can love you because your husband can’t right now, or maybe days where you have to ask God to help you love your husband because you can’t in the way you should.
Just hang in there. Sometimes it can take years, but family is so important. Britt and I are very blessed with husbands who support us.
Keep hope, don’t give up. Many times we give up too early. Take a nap, take a break, take a pause, but hope is a real thing, and it can turn into beautiful things!
Thank you for listening to a bit of our stories today!
Invitation (30:00)
Go get our free holiday planner, made specifically with mommas in mind, it is filled with resources to help YOU plan the holidays this year (and stop letting the holidays plan you).
Here are a few of the pages you'll find inside:
Gifts & Giving Planner
Family Gifts & Giving Planner
My Wishlist (a keepsake)
Stocking Stuffer Ideas
You can find the link to get the Holiday Planner EVERYWHERE! It’s at www.thedeliberateday.org, send us a DM, e-mail at Brittany@thedeliberateday.org, and it’s right here (below) in the podcast notes!!
Happy holidays!
